Set Apart: When Blending In Isn’t an Option

For most of my life, I knew I was different.

Not in a bold or loud way. In fact, I did everything I could to not stand out. I tried to be quiet, meek, agreeable—believing that blending in was the safest way to live. I associated strength with the kind of people who had hurt me. So I worked hard to erase any hint of it from myself. I became grey on purpose.

But here’s the truth:
God didn’t make me grey.

A Presence I Couldn’t Hide

The first time I saw the cracks in that belief was during my chaplain residency. I met weekly with my cohort and supervisor. During one of those sessions, my supervisor said, “You have a strong presence.”

It startled me. I wasn’t trying to be strong—I was trying to disappear.

That comment stuck with me for years. I tried to push it down, to disappear even more. But God, in His mercy, didn’t let me. He’s been working on me lately, reminding me that I am not meant to blend in—I am meant to be set apart.

What Does It Mean to Be Set Apart?

I asked God what that really means.

It had to be more than just going to church—I’d been doing that for over 20 years. More than Christian t-shirts or jewelry. More than social media posts.

God answered me in a very personal way: He led me to begin wearing a head covering in public as a visible sign that He is my covering.

This wasn’t about legalism or performance. It was about remembrance—a physical, visible reminder of whose I am. And it’s changed me. I carry a daily awareness that I am marked by Him. That I am not my own.

The Cost of Obedience

But wearing it came with a cost.

People stared. Some made assumptions without asking. In our previous location, it was more uncomfortable—but since we moved, people have become curious. They’ve started to ask questions, and I’ve had beautiful conversations about God that I never would have had if I had stayed invisible.

Still, the rejection stings. I’ve been left out of gatherings with neighbors and colleagues. People smile, but keep their distance. It’s not me they’re rejecting—it’s the unspoken presence of God in me that they don’t want around.

Jesus said it would be this way:

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.”
—John 15:18

A Word from the Lord

In my pain, I took it to the Lord. I asked Him what to do with the ache of rejection.

He whispered back something I won’t forget:
“The people rejecting you are the ones I’m protecting you from.”

That truth brought peace.

God isn’t punishing me through isolation. He’s protecting me. And in that protection, He’s also preparing me—to live as one who is truly set apart.

God Wants More Misfits

I can’t help but think:
Maybe God isn’t looking for more people who fit in.
Maybe He’s looking for more misfits.

Those who will walk the narrow path.
Those who will shine light even when it attracts unwanted attention.
Those who will be salt even when it stings.

Jesus said:

“You are the salt of the earth… You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden… let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”
—Matthew 5:13–16

Salt preserves. Light doesn’t hide.
And neither should we.

The Invitation

If you’re feeling the tension of being different—of being set apart—know that you’re not alone.

This path isn’t easy, but it is worth it.

Maybe you’ve been trying to fit in when God is calling you to stand out. Maybe, like me, you’ve been afraid of rejection. But what if your visible obedience is the very thing God wants to use?

Let your life say clearly:
“I belong to Jesus.”
Even if it costs you. Especially if it does.

“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven…”
—Matthew 5:11–12

Reflection Questions:

• Have you been trying to blend in where God is calling you to stand out?

• What visible signs of obedience has God invited you to carry?

• Where are you afraid of rejection, and how might God be using that place for your protection?

Stay salty. Stay lit. Stay His.
You were made to be set apart.